wake me up...

A breath of fresh air was blown across the city. I ran after a woman who left her purse at a table. It was late. After I caught up with her the man waiting for the bus told me that I was a romantic person. That no one ever runs anymore. In New York? I said. Everyone's running. He laughed. You have to be romantic here. 

I’ve been hankering to buy. I’ve convinced myself that I need a lot of things, mostly because so many of my clothes are either irreparably dirty or disintegrating. But then also I want 23&me, a straightener, lipstick. I’m working far too much and need to let something go. That decision will come in time. a said I (royal) make the rules, and she’s right. The power of a boss amounts to very, very little, especially in restaurants. I like when time is my own so I’ll make it that way, after I find a way to make rent. (I am becoming very bitter toward people who have parents that can and do support them, even in small ways. Even if it’s probably good. I need to let this bitterness go. There are just too many people who fall into this category.) I’ve been rather paranoid and anxious. Things transpire. Money comes and goes, mostly goes. Work demands blah blah blah. I only want to see people I love because anything else is a waste of time. Though still I’m managing to see a guy tonight because I want to feel desired. I cried, in a whimpering way, myself to sleep last night. Explosive wails aren’t my strong suit. Sadness is right now. But I think that feels right for autumn. Let’s recite the old psalm:

Summer has come and passed

The innocent can never last

Wake me up when September ends