2025 is in the wind! never to be felt again except in dreams and memories. New York was perfect. On the Eve, I had a perfect day. L’s roommate made me kasha and then I went to soho where a and I have made a habit of shopping, and then drank a bottle of pet nat afterward at a place among people who get younger and younger every time I’m there. Soon enough we won’t be able to go there anymore - they will serve milk in bottles and pureed peas. We sat under the American flag, but now it has a peace sign stiched into it, funny ha ha oh the irony. We said goodbye to each other at the movie theater, because I decided to see Marty supreme if there was a showing then and there, and there was (ny<3). The movie was epic, rabid and hypnotic. It reminded me how I love the movies, especially alone, how much it all makes you feel so much. I felt bad for everyone at the end, especially the baby– Marty will bounce in and out of that boy's life just like one of his orange ping pong balls. After that I made my way home in the dark and cold, but I felt warm and light (breezy), full of light (lightbulb). I met an and l and r at a dark wine bar where we sat catching up till the party. Which was in this huge multi-story industrial loft where three small girls live, and it was filled with Bushwick types. We danced and danced, and I felt this wonderful release, like a valve was flung open and every worry, doubt, and reservation plumed out of me like a cloud of steam – I was squeaky clean by the end, my body soft and fluid, rolling thanks to g and her vile. We were simple bodies, fools, heroes, whatever we felt like. And it was wonderful. I slept at a’s, returned to l’s in the morning all locked out. I stood at the door freezing, buzzing knocking cursing. She was out retrieving her phone from the loft, and then she returned to the stoop and couldn't get the door open either. Everyone in the house was drunk and asleep. We sourly went for coffee, parked ourselves at a cafe and stayed there for ages, warming up and getting cold again, growing more and more stupid and delirious which made way for good happy feelings. We laughed at everything, but mostly ourselves. We sank into baths we dreamed in our minds that we filled with vietnamese broths and sat there like children with our heads leaned back. “Do you want mushrooms in yours? Do you have your hair up?” It was exactly what we needed, and I thank God for it. Any tension or strangeness washed away, down the drain. Just love and play between friends. And then I said goodbye, and we said we loved each other and we really meant it, and the hug was long and deep and cherished. And still, I am so happy to be home, back to my life and the things that bring me sanity and clarity and heft. I have had such luck and beauty lately. and I do, I apologize for my effusions— I can’t help them at the moment, and they make for strange writing, so perhaps I’ll stop here
